You Know you are a Quilter If........
This was posted in my guild's newsletter this month and thought it was too appropriate not to share.
There's more fabric in the house than food.
"Fat Quarters" are not the heaviest part of your body.
Your ironing board is always set up but you never iron clothes.
You think of your job as an interruption of your quilting time.
You pet fabric.
People are always picking threads off you.
You can measure a scant ¼" by eye.
"Featherweight" doesn't mean boxer.
Your "UFO's" are not from outer space.
You clean up your sewing room & they think you are leaving.
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
May 4, 2010
April 14, 2010
A Poem for Patchworkers
A Poem for Patchworkers
Patchworkers are a different breed
The things we hope for, the things we need,
We wish for fabric to finish that row
we sometimes wish our guests would go.
We wish all day for that time to be
that special time - that time for ME.
Each needle is threaded, the colors arrayed,
Scissors and pattern have been carefully laid.
Now we relax, this is our pleasure,
stitching this piece of soon-to-be treasure.
We always ignore that mental warning,
Stitching all night mades it rough in the morning.
But time's unimportant, we don't heed clocks,
We just need fabric and a sewing box.
Our project awaits us, now we proceed
this must be heaven - what more do we need?
Author Unknown
Patchworkers are a different breed
The things we hope for, the things we need,
We wish for fabric to finish that row
we sometimes wish our guests would go.
We wish all day for that time to be
that special time - that time for ME.
Each needle is threaded, the colors arrayed,
Scissors and pattern have been carefully laid.
Now we relax, this is our pleasure,
stitching this piece of soon-to-be treasure.
We always ignore that mental warning,
Stitching all night mades it rough in the morning.
But time's unimportant, we don't heed clocks,
We just need fabric and a sewing box.
Our project awaits us, now we proceed
this must be heaven - what more do we need?
Author Unknown
Posted by
Angie
2
comments
February 2, 2010
January 29, 2010
Whale or Mermaid?
In a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"
A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.
To Whom It May Concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)
They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.
They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.
They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia.
Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.
They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.
Mermaids don't exist.
If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?
They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT?
Therefore, they don't have kids either.
Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?
The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.
P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good grief, look how smart I am!"
Shared by Angie.
A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)
They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.
They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.
They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia.
Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.
They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?
They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT?
Therefore, they don't have kids either.
Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?
The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.
P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good grief, look how smart I am!"
Shared by Angie.
Posted by
Twi-Quilters Admin
2
comments
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